If you’re reading this, you probably have absolutely no idea what to do with your life. You see other people and it seems like they have it all sorted, they know what kind of career they want, they seem to have a great social life, and it almost seems like their life is following the 5 year plan they’d set for themselves
Meanwhile, you don’t even have a 5 year plan, you in fact have a 5 day plan that goes something like, stay in bed all Saturday and binge that new show that everybody is talking about.
What you’re feeling right now is more common than you think, and the first step to figuring out your life starts with asking the right questions… which you already are.
So read on ahead, and let’s explore why you’re feeling lost and what you can really do about it.
Let’s start with this: there’s nothing wrong with you
The truth is that most people don’t wake up one day with their “purpose” fully formed, glowing in their hands like some divine to-do list.
And the ones who say they did? Either they’re lying or they’re selling something.
Life isn’t a straight line, even if it looks like it should be. Even if your classmates are already “on track,” and your cousin just bought a house, and everyone on LinkedIn seems to be thriving while you can’t even choose what to eat for dinner.
It’s okay to feel stuck, it’s okay if your brain is foggy and motivation feels an absurd concept that only successful people have, and it’s okay if the best you can do right now is brushing your teeth and not ghosting your group chat again.
Quick reminder: what you’re feeling right now is temporary, and feeling stuck now doesn’t mean you’ll be stuck forever.
Right now, your mind is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do when the path ahead isn’t clear. It’s resisting, asking questions, and freezing. So let’s get you the alignment your system is asking for, and let’s start small.
Start small, but start honest to yourself
Ever had one of those days where you get the unearthly urge to overhaul your entire life in one weekend? It usually starts at 2 am, and you usually end up with a Pinterest board titled “My Ideal Life Aesthetic.” and a room drowning in clothes and other various drawer contents you were hellbent on purging to get rid of “all the bad energy” in your life.
This time, let’s start with a simple thread:
What feels interesting to you right now, even if you don’t know why?
What’s something you find yourself circling back to—on your phone, in conversations, in those quiet in-between moments when you let your brain wander?
Start with the things that make your chest feel warm and gooey (yes, exactly like a fudge brownie). This could be a little hike, or working with your hands, or it’s reading about how cults operate, or deep-diving into weird niche podcasts. Maybe it’s just the thought of walking dogs or starting a garden or helping people feel seen.
It doesn’t have to be practical and it certainly doesn’t have to become a career. You just have to let it exist, and create some breathing room for yourself.
This isn’t a lifetime commitment, you’re just moving toward something that feels less soul-numbing than staying still.
If you have no idea where to start, try this
Go backwards, not forwards. Start with who you were before you started asking, “What’s useful?” or “What will make me money?” or “What’s a good use of my time?”
Who were you when you didn’t yet worry about those things?
Think about what you used to love when you were a kid. What lit you up without needing an outcome? What made you lose track of time? What would you do now if you didn’t care about being bad at it?
Try this: make a list of things you’re secretly interested in but always talk yourself out of. You don’t have to share it. Just write it. Be honest. And then ask yourself: What if I just tried one of these without needing to be great at it?
You’re not lazy for wanting more. You’re not broken for feeling bored with everything. Boredom is your mind’s way of saying: We’re overdue for something new.
And if nothing sounds good? That’s okay too. Stillness is rest, and sometimes rest is the first honest thing we’ve done in years. If you’re looking to reconnect with who you are beneath the noise, self-exploration can be a really powerful (and pressure-free) place to begin.
If you still have no idea where to start, try this
Okay, all this sounds good to you, but you still have no idea where to start. Everything feels flat and overwhelming or maybe even like background noise in a dentist’s office. You know what this means? That you’re severely overdue for your own attention. Try this:
- Think back to who you were before the world got loud.
Not the version of you who learned how to perform, impress, or hustle… but the one who did weird stuff just because it felt good. What did younger-you obsess over? What did the younger-you want to build, what did they dream about? Those things were pieces of your instinct, before that instinct got beaten out of you. - Ask yourself what you secretly wish you were good at.
Not in a career-path way. Just… in a you way. You know that little ache when you watch someone dance freely, or speak another language, or make something beautiful with their hands? That ache is not jealousy. That ache is a breadcrumb. Following your core connections and triggers can help you make sense of why certain things call to you and what that might mean about what you’re meant to do next. - Look at who you’re drawn to.
You know people who are just brilliant, not in their job titles and other material things, but just how they are. What exactly do you admire about them? Are they fearless, gentle, loud, or just super self assured? Perhaps the reason you admire them is because there’s a version of you in there that wants to come out. - Do something badly. On purpose.
You will never be great at everything you ever do. And that’s okay. You’re allowed to be objectively bad at something, but still do it simply because you enjoy it. So take this as permission to paint something horrible, write cringey poetry, and take a class you have no business being in. You’re allowed to try things just because you want to. - And if everything feels boring? That’s your brain waving a flag.
Boredom is grief in disguise. It’s your mind saying, we’ve been doing the same things for too long and nothing feels like us anymore.
So resist the urge to shame it, to shun it away. Instead, try seeing it as your starting point. And if you believe that there is something greater at play that’s taking away all the fun out of life, try professional therapy.
Over at the Mentally STRONG Clinic, we have a brilliant team of therapists excited to help you explore what’s really going on. Start your baby steps towards healing and growth with an appointment today.
Try this if you feel too overwhelmed to begin
If even thinking about “figuring your life out” makes you want to crawl under your blanket and live there permanently, I get it. When you’re exhausted, anxious, unsure where to begin, even the smallest first step can feel like a 12-step staircase in the dark.
So take the power away from this overwhelm. This is not a life plan. This is just you interrupting the fog you’re stuck in, that’s it.
The point is to let your hands take over while your brain takes a little nap. It’s one way to reset, gently. If you’re not sure why you’re so exhausted, or why everything feels dull, it might help to explore why life feels so hard, and what’s underneath all that heaviness.
Change your environment—even a little
This is the time for that 2 am furniture rearranging. Or go a step further, go to a coffee shop you’ve never been to. Or take the overnight train to a little town just because you haven’t ever done that before.
Think of anything that doesn’t take a lot of effort but changes your environment, even a little. That’s where the magic is because small shifts in your external space can help your brain stop running the same tired mental loops.
Meet new people. Seriously.
Sometimes strangers give you space to show up as someone new… someone closer to the person you’ve been becoming all along. People who are already in our orbits already expect versions of us, and it’s easier to break free when those expectations aren’t there as extra resistance.
Get out of your head and into your hands
We tend to say in our heads so often we forget what to do with the rest of our bodies. So let’s gently change that. Try cooking even if you’re bad at it. Or pick up those forgotten paint brushes and get painting. It doesn’t even have to be creative, you can fold laundry, do the dishes, or clean that cabinet you’ve been meaning to for months now. The point here is to let your hands take over while your brain takes a little nap.
Try something you normally wouldn’t
How will you ever experience all there is to do if you don’t step out of your comfort zone? Throw an axe, take a salsa class, birdwatch, build IKEA furniture (okay, maybe not that one.)
The point is to surprise yourself. New experiences can knock something loose emotionally, even if you feel awkward the whole time.
Volunteer somewhere, if you can
It doesn’t have to be deep or noble or Instagram-worthy. It just has to get you out of your own loop. Sometimes doing something for someone else reminds you that you still matter, even when you’re confused and tired.
Ask someone you trust what they could see you enjoying
Sometimes other people catch glimpses of who we are before we believe it ourselves. And you don’t even have to apply what they said, it’s enough to just consider the possibility that they’re seeing something that you’re not seeing yet. If you’re curious about what you’ve missed in yourself, or how you’ve been shaped by past experiences, understanding yourself more deeply can open doors you didn’t know were closed.
There’s no pressure to figure everything out immediately
Some people find their thing at 20. Some at 35. Some at 70. And some people? They find it, lose it, change their minds, and find something else entirely. We’ve been fed timelines all our lives, and the truth is that there really isn’t one.
So next time it feels like everyone else is sprinting ahead while you’re still tying your shoes, just remember, they’re not on your path. You are allowed to go at your own pace, even if that pace is slow, hesitant, or full of detours.
And if there’s anything you take away from this article, I hope it’s this:
You don’t have to wake up tomorrow with a 10-year plan. You don’t have to know your passion, your purpose, or even your next move. All you have to do is notice what hurts, what calls to you, what softens your shoulders even slightly and move in that direction.
If you’re ready for support (real support, not a TikTok listicle or a vague affirmation) you don’t have to wait for a breakdown to begin. The Mentally STRONG Method was built exactly for this kind of moment: when you’re confused, overwhelmed, and unsure what step to take next. It helps you think clearly, organize your emotional chaos, and actually choose your next move. If you’re at the very beginning of your healing journey, you don’t have to do it perfectly — you just have to take that first tiny, human step forward.
And if you’re tired of holding it all in, or overthinking yourself into exhaustion, maybe it’s time to talk to someone. We have a team of incredible therapists at the Mentally STRONG Clinic who would love to walk with you while you figure out what this next version of your life could look like.