Grief is a complex and multifaceted emotion that affects individuals in many ways. Dr. Cristi Bundukamara, aka Dr. B, a psychiatric nurse practitioner and a grief expert, has shared her experience of going through the 45 Days of Grief series and highlighted the importance of understanding the layers of grief.
A Layered Experience
According to Dr. B, grief is not a linear process but a layered experience. Each layer of grief represents a different emotional state and can be triggered by other events or circumstances. She explains that grief is like layers of an onion, rock formations, or archaeological digs, with each layer telling a story. These layers include shock, denial, anger, guilt, depression, and acceptance.
Grief is a Unique Experience
Dr. B emphasizes that everyone’s layers of grief are unique and may be experienced in different orders or intensities. It is important to recognize that the layers of grief are not fixed and can overlap or repeat themselves, making the experience of grief even more challenging to navigate.
In her personal experience, Dr. B describes initially having controlled grief, followed by hitting an anger wall and eventually experiencing a meltdown. This progression highlights the importance of acknowledging and working through each layer of grief rather than suppressing or avoiding it.
Work Through the Layers
Dr. B encourages individuals to gently remove the layers of grief and not hurt their souls or who they are. She emphasizes the importance of seeking support from loved ones, a therapist, or a grief support group. Through this process, individuals can work towards finding purpose and joy in life, even amidst the pain of grief.
In conclusion, understanding the layers of grief and recognizing that grief is not a linear process can be crucial in the healing journey. Each layer of grief represents a different emotional state and can be triggered by other events or circumstances. It is essential to work through each layer of grief, seek support, and find meaning in life, even amidst the pain.