Last Updated: September 3, 2026 Author: Dr. Cristi Bundukamara, PMHNP-BC
A sense of purpose does not have to arrive as one dramatic calling. In my conversation with Trista, we explored how purpose can begin in an ordinary role, change through different seasons, and become clearer through action. If you are asking how to find your purpose in life, I want you to know that you do not need the entire answer today. You can start by noticing when you feel most fulfilled, then choose one way to move toward that feeling.
What Is a Sense of Purpose?
A sense of purpose is an inner direction that connects what matters to you with how you choose to live. Trista described purpose as what we have been chosen to be in our lives. Her understanding later expanded into a calling to connect with, encourage, and inspire other people.
This inner direction can be:
•Everyday: It may appear in being a mother, a friend, or a positive presence in your community.
•Evolving: It can change as your family, work, abilities, and priorities change.
•Relational: It may grow through connecting with and encouraging other people.
•Action-based: It often becomes clearer after you begin, not before.
•Personal: It does not need to resemble anyone else’s contribution.
Purpose is not reserved for historical figures or public leaders. It can be quiet, specific, and deeply meaningful.
Why a Sense of Purpose Matters
Purpose gives your actions a direction when your thoughts feel uncertain. During the conversation, Trista and I discussed how thoughts and emotions can be unpredictable. Fear and negativity may appear before you consciously choose them, yet you can still choose what your body does next.
That distinction matters because waiting for perfect confidence can keep you still. A meaningful goal gives you something to act toward even when your mind raises objections. Therefore, learning how to find your purpose in life involves more than thinking; it also involves trying, learning, and adjusting.
Physical strength can support this process. Trista described how difficult physical challenges showed her that she could endure more than she once believed. She also explained that keeping a promise to herself—such as showing up for a workout—became an act of self-love and consistency.
Sense of Purpose vs. One Perfect Calling
Purpose is not the same as discovering one permanent job, title, or achievement. Purpose can exist in several roles at once, and it can evolve without making an earlier season meaningless.
Common Misconception | What the Video Shows |
Purpose must be large enough to change the world. | Everyday roles can create a meaningful impact on one person or a community. |
I must know my final destination before I begin. | Current interests can guide the next goal while direction continues to emerge. |
Changing direction means I chose incorrectly. | A sense of purpose can evolve as life and responsibilities change. |
Negative thoughts mean I am on the wrong path. | Thoughts can be unpredictable; actions can still align with what matters. |
Physical goals are separate from personal growth. | Physical and mental strength can reinforce each other when the approach remains balanced. |
In our conversation, I contrasted the visible impact of people such as Martin Luther King Jr. and Dolly Parton with the life of my son Reggie. Reggie had severe special needs and could barely talk, yet his presence changed the people who cared for him. A sense of purpose is measured by meaning, not fame.
Core Components of a Lasting Sense of Purpose
Lasting purpose develops through attention, action, relationships, and the willingness to change. Trista’s story shows how these components can appear across an entire life rather than in one defining moment.
Pay Attention to What Energizes You
Trista first noticed her love of connecting with people while waiting tables at Red Lobster during college, even while heavily pregnant. That job was not the final answer. However, it revealed a pattern: engaging with people mattered to her.
When you ask, “What is my purpose?” look backward as well as forward. Recall the times you felt excited or fulfilled, then identify what those moments shared.
Notice the Experiences That Redirect You
After Trista’s great-grandmother experienced a stroke, Trista watched a speech-language pathologist work with her in the hospital. That encounter gave her direction, and she declared her major that same weekend. Her direction became clearer because she paid attention to an experience that moved her.
You may not receive the same kind of decisive moment. Still, certain experiences can reveal the people, problems, or activities that consistently draw your attention.
Let Purpose Include Sacrifice and Choice
Trista loved basketball and earned a scholarship to play in Oklahoma. When her family’s world changed, she left that dream to remain with her brother and family—a decision she described as the best one she ever made.
Purpose does not always ask you to pursue the most impressive opportunity. Sometimes it becomes visible through the values you choose when two meaningful paths compete.
Recognize Purpose in Other People’s Lives
Dr. B and Trista have known each other for roughly 13 to 14 years. Trista served as a speech-language pathologist for Reggie and Miah, and she worked beyond expectations to help Reggie receive a communication device when others doubted he could communicate.
During a period in Florida, groups of six to ten volunteers placed their hands on Reggie during energy-work sessions. I watched his presence shift how those volunteers understood their own contributions. His life reminds me that a calling can be profound even when it does not look conventional.
Keep Promises to Yourself
Consistency can become evidence that you are willing to act on your own behalf. During 2020, Trista gained nine pounds in one month and noticed that her family was becoming sedentary. She bought a jogging stroller and began a fitness journey because she wanted to model something different.
Her actions did not depend on feeling motivated every day. If you are wondering how to find your purpose in life, consider what consistent action teaches you about the person you want to become.
Allow Strength to Change Your Self-Perception
Trista said that a woman who can complete a strict pull-up is in the top 1% of the population. Reaching that milestone changed how she viewed her mental capacity. The number is her statement from the conversation, but the personal lesson is broader: completing a demanding task can challenge an old belief about what you can do.
Balance still matters. We discussed David Goggins as an extreme example of mental toughness while questioning whether using physical pain to “callous the brain” represents a healthy model. A sustainable direction does not require destroying your body to prove your mind is strong.
The Mentally STRONG Method and Your Sense of Purpose
The Mentally STRONG Method offers a repeatable way to turn reflection into direction: Think → Organize → Choose. Our conversation about purpose maps naturally onto these three actions.
Think: Identify Fulfillment
Use the Mentally STRONG Method to ask direct questions: When was I most excited? What was I doing when I felt fulfilled? Whom did I enjoy serving, encouraging, or connecting with?
Thinking is not waiting for a perfect answer. It means gathering honest information about the moments that already reveal your values and direction.
Organize: Find the Pattern
The Mentally STRONG Method helps you separate roles, interests, goals, and life stages. Trista’s story includes athletics, family, speech-language pathology, fitness, nutrition, writing, and community connection. These activities look different, but the pattern of encouraging people appears repeatedly.
Organizing the pattern prevents one job title from becoming your entire identity. It also gives your calling room to evolve.
Choose: Take the Next Action
The Mentally STRONG Method returns attention to what you can control. Dr. B described the Default Mode Network as a negative mental space the brain may default to when life is going badly. She also described the Reticular Activating System as a filter that notices more of what you actively seek.
These ideas were used conversationally, not as a medical assessment. The practical point is simple: you may not control every thought, but you can choose the next physical action. That choice can move you toward your sense of purpose before complete certainty arrives.
How to Start Building a Sense of Purpose
Finding purpose in life begins with practical observation rather than pressure. These five steps reflect the questions and examples shared in the conversation.
1.Review your most fulfilling moments. Write down three times when you felt excited, useful, connected, or fully engaged. Look for the activity and the people involved.
2.Name the repeating value. Use the Mentally STRONG Method to organize what the moments share. The pattern may involve connecting, creating, protecting, teaching, encouraging, or serving.
3.Set one current goal. You do not need absolute clarity about how to find your purpose in life. Choose a goal connected to what interests you now, then allow action to provide more information.
4.Control the action, not every thought. Fear may tell you that you could fail. Take one reasonable action anyway, because failure and adjustment are part of discovering what fuels you.
5.Revisit the question as life changes. Your roles and responsibilities will evolve. Let your sense of purpose grow with them rather than forcing an old answer to fit a new season.
This approach keeps the process grounded. You are not selecting one identity forever; you are choosing a direction and remaining attentive to what it teaches you.
Frequently Asked Questions About a Sense of Purpose
How do I develop a sense of purpose?
I begin by looking backward at the moments when I felt most fulfilled. Then I ask what I was doing, whom I was helping, and what value I was living. A sense of purpose often appears as a pattern across several experiences. The next step is to act on that pattern in one manageable way.
How can I learn how to find my purpose in life?
If you want to know how to find your purpose in life, start with your current interests instead of demanding a final answer. Set a goal, try something, and notice what gives you energy or meaning. I have seen purpose become clearer through action. You retain the ability to change direction as you learn.
Can my purpose change over time?
Yes, your sense of purpose can evolve as your life changes. Trista described a shift from raising younger children toward having children in college, while her work expanded into fitness, writing, and encouraging a wider community. A new season does not erase the meaning of an earlier one. It allows purpose to take a different form.
Does purpose have to come from my career?
No, a sense of purpose can exist in motherhood, friendship, service, physical growth, or the way you support a community. Trista discovered an important career direction through her great-grandmother’s stroke, but she also found purpose in family choices and conversations on the Manitou Incline. Your work may express your purpose, but it does not have to contain all of it.
What if negative thoughts keep interrupting me?
I do not wait for every negative thought to disappear. The Mentally STRONG Method helps me distinguish a thought from the action I want to take. Fear may speak first, but I can still choose a reasonable next step. That action gives my sense of purpose something concrete to grow through.
How does physical strength support mental strength?
Physical challenges can provide evidence that you are capable of staying with something difficult. Trista drew mental confidence from her strict pull-up, her fitness consistency, and her return from a shattered ankle. However, the goal is balance rather than extreme self-punishment. Your physical practice can support a sense of purpose when it aligns with the life you want.
Why is consistency connected to self-love?
Trista described consistency as keeping promises to herself. Each completed promise showed that her goals deserved time and action. When motivation changed, the promise still gave her direction. The Mentally STRONG Method can help you organize that commitment and choose what you will repeat.
Can hardship reveal purpose?
Hardship can change your direction, but I do not believe pain is required to earn a meaningful life. Trista’s family decision, severe ankle injury, and pandemic pivot each revealed values and strengths that influenced her path. The Manitou Incline later became a place where she pursued physical goals on the way up and listened to other people’s stories on the way down. Her sense of purpose grew through both challenge and connection.
Ready to Learn the Mentally STRONG Method?
🧠 Think through difficult emotions without spiraling 📁 Organize your thoughts into clear, manageable categories 💪 Choose actions aligned with who you want to become 👉 Watch our free training: https://join.mentallystrong.com/mentallystrongtraining
Final Thoughts
A sense of purpose is not a prize waiting at the end of a perfect plan. Trista’s journey moved through family, speech-language pathology, athletics, a shattered ankle, a jogging stroller, and conversations on the Manitou Incline. On that trail, a man named Scott offered to help tell her story, leading to their upcoming book, Habits of Steel: Climbing Through Life.
Her L.I.F.E. motto—Love, Inspire, Forgive, Encourage—captures the direction beneath those different chapters. You can use the Mentally STRONG Method to identify your own pattern and choose the next action that expresses it. Think. Organize. Choose.
Author Bio
Dr. Cristi Bundukamara, PMHNP-BC, is a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner and the creator of the Mentally STRONG Method. Her work helps people think clearly, organize what they are carrying, and choose actions aligned with who they want to become. Learn more at mentallystrong.com.
Reference
The personal stories, examples, figures, and practical ideas in this article are drawn from the supplied video.