8 Signs Your Body Is Gently Releasing Grief Trauma

By Cristi Bundukamara | Clinically reviewed by Cristi Bundukamara, EdD, PMHNP

Originally published: November 1, 2024 | Last updated: November 2, 2026 | Last reviewed: November 2, 2026

About the reviewer: Dr. Cristi Bundukamara (“Dr. B”) is a board-certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner with a Doctorate in Healthcare Education. She has practiced as a psychiatric nurse practitioner since 2000 and is the founder of Mentally STRONG in Colorado Springs. She also writes about grief from personal experience. Learn more about Dr. B.

Quick answer: As grief and the stress that comes with it start to ease, many people notice physical changes. These include a calmer stomach, slower and deeper breathing, looser shoulders and jaw, a steadier heartbeat, more body awareness, waves of tears or relief, better sleep, and feeling safe in their own body again. These signs come and go, and none of them happen on a set timeline. If grief stays intense, gets in the way of daily life, or comes with thoughts of suicide, please reach out for help (see “When to get help” below).

This article is for general education and isn’t a substitute for personal medical or mental health care.

Understanding grief trauma and its impact on the body

Grief isn’t only something we feel in our minds. Many people feel it in their bodies too. After a loss, you might notice tightness in your chest, a knot in your stomach, tense shoulders, or exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix. Sometimes it shows up before you’ve even put words to what you’re feeling.

This mind-body link is well documented. Research on bereavement has long shown that grief can affect physical health as well as emotions. It can involve changes in stress hormones such as cortisol, in inflammation, and in sleep (O’Connor, 2019). After a traumatic event, it’s common to feel anxious, sad, or angry, to have trouble concentrating and sleeping, and to keep thinking about what happened. For most people these reactions ease over time (NIMH).

When we say “grief trauma” here, we mean grief that feels stuck. This often follows a loss that was sudden, overwhelming, or one of several close together. Your body may stay on high alert long after the loss itself.

Grief goes beyond the thinking brain

Many of us assume we can “think” our way through grief or talk it away. But grief also involves deeper, automatic parts of the brain and body that react before conscious thought, like the stress response that speeds up your heart and breathing. That’s why you might feel tense or on edge even when you aren’t consciously thinking about your loss. Healing often means paying gentle attention to what your body is telling you, not only to your thoughts.

Emotional and physical health are connected

When you carry grief, it can show up as tension in your shoulders, heaviness in your chest, or an unsettled stomach. As you begin to heal, you might notice your body softening, some lightness returning, or a sense of relief. Healing isn’t only about feeling better emotionally. It’s also about letting your body come out of “brace” mode.

How the body processes and releases grief

Letting go of grief takes time and gentle attention. Some therapies focus on thoughts and feelings, and others also bring in the body. Here is a plain-language look at the options people ask about most:

• Cognitive-behavioral approaches (CBT): The American Psychiatric Association reports that treatments using elements of CBT are effective for reducing symptoms of prolonged grief. CBT for insomnia can also help with grief-related sleep problems (American Psychiatric Association).
• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): A structured therapy that includes a “body scan” phase. The American Psychological Association’s clinical practice guideline suggests it for PTSD (American Psychological Association).
• Somatic (body-oriented) therapies: Approaches such as Somatic Experiencing work with the body sensations linked to a traumatic experience. A 2021 scoping review found preliminary evidence of benefit for PTSD-related symptoms and physical symptoms. Its authors also said study quality is mixed and that more rigorous trials are needed (Kuhfuß et al., 2021).
• Brainspotting: A newer method. The therapist guides you to focus on specific points in your visual field while you notice what comes up in your body. Some people find it helpful, but there is far less research on it than on EMDR or CBT. Think of it as one option to discuss with a trained clinician, not a proven shortcut.

Healing isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s okay to try more than one approach to find what supports you best.

Somatic healing: listening to your body

When you let yourself notice sensations without judging them, you may find your body starts to settle on its own. You might take a deep sigh, feel your muscles relax, or find yourself crying. You’re not forcing yourself to “move on.” You’re letting your body work through the pain at its own pace.

8 common signs your body is releasing grief trauma

Healing isn’t always loud or dramatic. Often it’s the quiet shifts that matter most. Everyone’s experience is different, and these signs may come and go.

1. Relaxation of gut muscles

Plain answer: As grief eases, many people notice their stomach unclench. It feels less tight, knotted, or unsettled.

Grief and stress often show up in the gut as tightness, nausea, or changes in appetite. When your body starts to feel safer, you may notice a softness in your belly, almost like a deep sigh from within. This is a quiet sign that your stress response is easing.

2. Changes in breathing patterns

Plain answer: Your breathing may slow down and deepen on its own, without you trying.

When we’re bracing against pain, breathing often becomes shallow and quick. As you begin to release, you may catch yourself taking fuller breaths. Slow, deep breathing is also a well-known way to calm the body’s stress response (Harvard Health). That’s why noticing your breath can help ground you in the present moment.

3. Reduced muscle tension in the shoulders, neck, and jaw

Plain answer: You may notice your shoulders drop, your neck loosen, or your jaw unclench, sometimes after holding that tension for months.

Many people carry grief in these areas without realizing it. You might first notice the release in a simple moment, like unclenching your teeth or letting your shoulders fall away from your ears. Each small release shows that your body is moving out of a guarded state.

4. A calmer heartbeat and a more settled body

Plain answer: Your heart may stop racing as often, and your body may feel less “on edge” as it shifts out of fight-or-flight.

Grief and trauma can keep the body on high alert. Bereavement research links intense grief with changes in stress hormones and with heart health (O’Connor, 2019). Mayo Clinic lists higher risk of heart disease and high blood pressure among the possible complications of complicated grief (Mayo Clinic). As you heal, a steadier heartbeat and a calmer body are welcome signs. Please keep up any care you get for blood pressure or heart conditions, and talk with your provider before changing any medication.

5. Increased awareness of the mind-body connection

Plain answer: You may start noticing body sensations you’d tuned out, which is a sign you’re reconnecting with yourself.

Grief can make people feel numb or disconnected. Mayo Clinic lists “numbness or detachment” among grief symptoms that can linger. As you heal, you may notice hunger, tiredness, tension, or ease more clearly. That growing awareness is a sign that your mind and body are working together again.

6. Emotional releases: sudden crying or feelings of relief

Plain answer: Sudden tears or an unexpected wave of relief are common and are usually a healthy part of grieving, not a setback.

These moments can catch you by surprise. Mayo Clinic notes that talking about your grief and letting yourself cry can help keep you from getting stuck in your sadness (Mayo Clinic). Let yourself feel these moments without judging them.

7. Improved sleep and fewer nightmares

Plain answer: You may fall asleep more easily, wake up more rested, or notice that your dreams feel less intense.

Trouble sleeping is one of the most common reactions after a traumatic event (NIMH). Significant sleep problems are also a known complication of complicated grief. Better rest is a meaningful sign of healing. If poor sleep lasts, it is very treatable, and CBT for insomnia has strong research support (American Psychiatric Association).

8. Feeling safe in your own body again

Plain answer: Perhaps the most meaningful sign is feeling at home in your body again: able to breathe, relax, and feel present.

At first this feeling may come and go. That’s normal. Each time it shows up, it’s a reminder that you can heal, that you’re coming back to yourself, and that you’re on your way to feeling whole again.

When to get help

Grief is a natural response to loss, and for most people the most intense symptoms ease with time (American Psychiatric Association). Sometimes, though, grief stays heavy and makes it hard to live your life. Please reach out to a doctor or mental health professional if:

• Your grief is still intense and getting in the way of daily life many months after the loss. For adults, prolonged grief disorder is considered when this lasts a year or more.
• You can’t keep up with work, school, parenting, or basic routines.
• You’re pulling away from the people and activities you used to care about.
• You feel numb, hopeless, or as if life has no meaning without your loved one.
• You have nightmares, flashbacks, or feel constantly on edge.
• You’re relying on alcohol or other substances to cope.
• You blame yourself for the death or wish you had died too.

If you are in crisis or thinking about suicide, you don’t have to wait. Call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, which is free, confidential, and available 24/7, or chat at 988lifeline.org. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911.

The role of professional support

Your body is resilient, but grief can be heavy, and you don’t have to carry it alone. Working with a professional who understands grief can give you tools and a safe space to process what you’re holding.

Choosing the right approach

Not all therapy is the same. Traditional talk therapy and CBT-based approaches give you space to explore thoughts and feelings, and they have good evidence for prolonged grief. Body-oriented approaches add another layer by bringing in physical sensations. Many people combine methods. Take your time and choose what feels right for you.

Finding a grief-informed clinician

Look for someone with experience treating grief and trauma. They should help you feel safe, respected, and heard, and be willing to explain their approach and the evidence behind it. Your comfort with them will shape what your healing looks like.

Practical steps to support grief release

Professional support can guide you, but there are also simple things you can do each day. Go at your own pace.

• Practice self-compassion. Grief often brings guilt or self-blame. When self-critical thoughts creep in, gently remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can.
• Try mindful breathing. Set aside a few minutes a day for slow, steady breaths. This can help calm your body’s stress response (Harvard Health).
• Move gently. Walking, stretching, yoga, or tai chi can help you tune into your body and ease tension.
• Write it down. Journaling gives you a private outlet for thoughts you’re not ready to say out loud.
• Lean on others. Family, friends, faith communities, and grief support groups can all help, and social support protects against grief becoming stuck (Mayo Clinic). Tell people what helps, whether that’s sitting with you quietly or joining you for a walk.
• Take it one day at a time. If you feel overwhelmed, break things into small steps.

How Mentally STRONG can help

Mentally STRONG is an outpatient mental health clinic in Colorado Springs, founded by Dr. Cristi Bundukamara. Dr. B has walked through profound loss herself. Our clinical team offers psychiatric evaluations and ongoing care for adults, teens, and children, and most major insurance plans are accepted.

• Schedule an appointment: Request an appointment online or call (719) 493-9555.
• Walk in: Walk-in mental health care is available Monday–Thursday, 9:00–11:00 a.m. and 1:00–3:00 p.m. Wait times vary. Please bring a photo ID, your insurance card, and any psychiatric history you have.
• Visit us: 3720 Sinton Rd., Suite 104, Colorado Springs, CO 80907. See our locations.
• Questions? Contact our team and we’ll point you in the right direction.
• Somatic counseling on site: Body-focused (somatic) counseling is available on site through Somatic Solutions Counseling, an independent in-house partner. This is a separate business, not a Mentally STRONG service, so please contact them directly about scheduling and fees.
• Specialty care: Mentally STRONG also offers Ketamine Assisted Therapy, a self-pay specialty service. If you’d like to know whether it might be an option for you, ask our team.
• Grief resources: Explore Dr. B’s grief books, workbook, and course.

Mentally STRONG is not an emergency service. In a crisis, call or text 988, or call 911.

Releasing grief trauma and the path forward

There is no single “right” way to heal, only what feels healing for you. Releasing grief is about honoring your feelings and letting yourself process them at your own pace. Take each day as it comes, be gentle with yourself, and remember that healing is a journey, not a destination. You don’t have to do this alone.

Frequently asked questions

What are the signs your body is releasing trauma?

Common signs include a calmer stomach, slower and deeper breathing, looser shoulders, neck, and jaw, a steadier heartbeat, more awareness of body sensations, sudden tears or relief, better sleep, and feeling safe in your body again. These signs come and go and look different for everyone.

How does grief leave the body?

Grief doesn’t leave all at once. It eases gradually as your body’s stress response settles and you process the loss. Letting yourself feel and cry, talking with people you trust, gentle movement, slow breathing, good sleep, and support from a professional can all help.

Can grief cause physical symptoms?

Yes. Grief can show up as tension, fatigue, sleep problems, stomach upset, or a racing heart. Research links bereavement with changes in stress hormones and inflammation. If physical symptoms are severe or don’t improve, check in with a medical provider.

How long does it take to release grief from the body?

There’s no set timeline. For most people, the most intense grief symptoms ease over months. If grief stays intense and gets in the way of daily life a year or more after a loss (six months for children and teens), talk with a mental health professional.

Is crying a sign that your body is releasing grief?

Often, yes. Sudden tears or a wave of relief are a normal part of grieving, and letting yourself cry can help you avoid getting stuck in your sadness. Crying that feels constant or hopeless is a reason to reach out for support.

What is the difference between grief and prolonged grief disorder?

Grief is a natural response to loss that usually softens over time. Prolonged grief disorder is a diagnosis for grief that stays intense, is present nearly every day, and disrupts daily life for at least a year after a loss in adults (six months in children and teens). Effective treatments, including CBT-based therapy, are available.

Ready to talk to someone?

You don’t have to figure this out alone. If grief is weighing on you, our team can help you find a next step that feels right. Fill out the short form below and we’ll reach out to set up an appointment, or call us at (719) 493-9555.